The Speech

The speech that changed my life. 

Hello and welcome to Faithlands 2007 Christmas Production “For the love of you”.

My name is Angela and this is my short story.

I was born in a dramatic way – Arm first, literally - It’s called transverse and it happens in about one in a quarter of a million births, and is probably one reason my mother and I are not close.  It was just such a rough start and what occurred throughout the next 26 years was so much worse, with the exception of two miracles, my beautiful children Jessie and Chloe.

About three years ago I made the decision to try and start a new life, I was hoping we would find one filled with love, acceptance and compassion, but trying to find what we sought without any idea where too look was overwhelming. It’s been an intense 3 years with much confusion, many tears and massive mistakes. It was during this time, luckily that I was connected with some amazing people,

A fantastic therapist - Lisa, who encourages me to heal by teaching me to see the grey between the black and white

An exceptional family worker – Sue who supports me as a mother and who referred me to your door and

Bec who is here with me tonight, a phenomenal friend who supports all that I am and just like north needs south to exist I needed this friendship.

It’s through their support and assistance I started this journey of healing and so when I first come to the faithcare program on the 23^rd of October last year, I had just enough strength to walk through your door.

I thought I was coming for groceries, but instead I found

• Angels - Hundreds of them, a     
• beautiful church filled with
• compassionate people and
• Dot my first guide. Who shielded me until I felt safe enough to look further.

I Found

• Emotional support,                                
• fantastic friendships,
• gentle men and a gratitude for everything that continues to grow.

I found                                         

• Hope watching                    
• inspirational people like shantha, Julie and Bill who quietly do so much and
• James. The one who first convinced me of the healing possible, by sharing his own journey.

I found

• Kiran with his massive muscles and compassion to match. Kylie who is shy like me yet still willing to share and
• Lauren. Who gives love guidance and encouragement, that is so intrinsically good it makes you feel like anything is possible.

I found a

• Mantra 'Feel the Fear and do it anyway' which when followed leads to
• new possibilities,
• open doors and
• peace, that comes from knowing you are not alone

I found

• Quality care and support from
• really wonderful role models for my children. Like Asha who has helped teach my daughter the wonders of speech and the magic of friendship.

I found

• Safety and Sunil who thinks my smile is special.
• Trust and so many
• understanding and compassionate people who
• voice their opinions with pride and who allow and even encourage me to voice my own, whatever they may be.

I found

• Wonderful warmth, wit and wisdom,
• christmas gifts and a
• youth group called Detonate. Who offer me an amazing pathway to faith through their embracment of the music. Along with
• zillions of other blessings and names too numerous to mention.

Now that’s actually an entire alphabetic list of the reasons I’m grateful!

When I first arrived here I quickly resolved within myself that I would not get sucked into the religious stuff. 

I remember telling Lauren, recently that I hated religion and that I couldn’t ever see that changing. In fact, I had thought to myself, I might have even been able to save her, and maybe a few others, from their, hmmmm, religious delusions.

You see I expected the hard sell from one or two determined Christians trying to convert me. What I got instead was a couple of hundred Christians offering to love, support and care for my family without any expectation. 

So now I’m thinking perhaps I’ve been a little wrong. While I was busy planning how to save you all, somewhere something in me has began changing. 

It started when you shared your music and I heard and felt, rather than understood this love you all feel. Followed by the experience of sharing my hopes fears and dreams with people who support me. Who show their love and gentle compassion with every action and word they create

Honestly I still don’t get it. I still dislike organized religion and I really have no idea how to be a good Christian. 

In the past though, hope has meant great danger. The hope I feel now for me and my children’s future is exciting. Sure I’m scared but I still feel safe enough to explore, for the first time in my life.

I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to explain well enough what all of this means to me, But, I can easily say that I’m feeling good!!

2007 Christmas Event - Angela Kelly